I don’t know if you heard this, but the number one song on Billboard Magazine’s Hot 100 last week was Brenda Lee’s 1958 record Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree. Imagine that. A 13-year-old girl who sang a pop song 65 years ago, beating out all the lit and fly artists du jour. I’m wondering if this indicates some kind of trend.

No. Of course not. What am I thinking?

I was reading an article on what Christmas was like when Brenda belted out that song, and before you say, “You should know, you were there,” consider that we’re talking way too many years of me having to remember stuff.

Granted, Marcel Proust had it right when he said, “Remembrance of things past is not necessarily the remembrance of things as they were.” Still, one thing I do remember as a tyke is that my father was paying somewhere around 30 cents for a gallon of gas, telling the gas station attendant to fill-er-up. The attendant would then check the car’s water and oil, or as my Dad put it, the “water-nol.” In the meantime, another attendant would then proceed to wipe the windshield clean. No kidding. It really happened.

If that’s not a totally foreign concept to Gen-Xs through Z-Gens, also in 1958:
• A transistor radio was the only means of transportable music.
• No internet. People wrote letters and sent telegrams.
• Computers took up a wall.
• No digital watches.
• If you wanted cash, you had to see a teller inside a bank.
• Phone calls were voice-activated. You told the operator what number you wanted.
• No one carried a bottle of water everywhere they went.
• Soft drinks were in bottles, not cans.
• You could drink beer at 18 years old. OK, 3.2 beer.
• Flying was a huge deal and expensive.
• No cable. No satellite TV.
• Most folks were married by their mid-20s.
• Corporal punishment was A-OK.
• Asbestos and lead paint were all the rage.

I was talking with a friend last week, and we couldn’t decide if life has gotten simpler or more complicated since the time Amazon was just a river in South America, and Apple was a fruit you polished and placed on your teacher’s desk.

That conversation got us trying to remember what this time of year was like when Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree came out. Sure, there were the stores all decked out in holly and ivy and greenery and reddery (is that a word?), but the most wanted Christmas gifts were a far cry from 2023.

What kids wanted in 1958 was mainly what they saw advertised on the three networks’ Saturday morning cartoon shows. Back then, kids wanted hula hoops, Davy Crockett’s coonskin hat, or possibly something high-tech like a transistor radio or record player.

Advertising is all different now, and one thing you never see anymore is an ad of Santa Claus kicking back with a Lucky Strike and blowing smoke rings. He doesn’t even smoke a pipe anymore.

That got me to thinking about everything else from that era that is no more, but interestingly, record players and vinyl records have been making a modest comeback.
Once thought to have gone the way of S&H Green Stamps and Red Ball Jets, I’ve seen simple record players for sale at Walmart. I don’t know if they’ve been designated as “trending” or not, and I hear young folks are confused as to their purpose, but they do come with a USB port. Records, which can be found in two sizes (big with little holes and small with big holes) are not included.

It’s the perfect Christmas gift, and in the words of Ron Popeil hawking the Veg-O-Matic on old late-night TV commercials, it “really, really works.”

While we’re on the subject, who wasn’t ever tempted to call up and order any of those gadgets we didn’t know we needed until we saw them on TV? I’m talking about Popeil’s Pocket Fisherman, Mr. Microphone, Mr. Dentist, the Bottle Cutter, Chia Pet, and Ginsu knives.

There was also the totally irrelevant Battery Tester and the aerosol can of Spray-on Hair to fill out that pesky bald spot. Oh vanity, get thee behind me.

I don’t know if any of those products are still around, but don’t despair, nowadays you can find any number of gimmicky products on the “as seen on TV shelf” in a store near you.

It’s like one-stop shopping for the hard-to-buy person on your gift list.

But I digress. Winter, according to the calendar, begins in seven days. The Christmas shopping season is going full stride like a racehorse galloping toward the finish line, and here’s me trying to keep up.

Do I want an 85-inch TV? Yes.

Do I need a bigger wall first? Yes.

John Larson, El Defensor Chieftain